Development Explained

So I had to write about this. Somehow I found this incredibly amusing and pretty much spot on. For all you developers out there I'm sure you too can appreciate this. I think the developer of this pie chart should create a new pie chart for myspace.

And I totally hate IE. I refuse to even test my code in IE. If someone hits my site, they are using IE, and it doesn't work right...not my problem.

I found this using stumble and the web address is: http://blog.alsacreations.com/images/camembert.png

So appropriate for my week

I have to say, this is probably one of the most appropriate pics I could have been sent this week. I work with a guy that I like to refer to as Excel A-hole. I'll have to elaborate at a different time as it gets me a little worked up when I reminisce of his ease at pissing in people's cornflakes.

This Monday and Tuesday my secretary was out of the office ill. Well, Excel A-hole had the nerve to call her husband and specifically ask if she was really sick because he needed her to schedule a luncheon for Wednesday. OMG! Can you believe the nerve? DUDE! Schedule it your self you lazy bastard. How hard can it be? Really?!?! Well, I sent her this picture because it is rather appropriate for this situation.
And my final note for this moment on Excel A-hole - RETIRE already.

Total Gym 1700

Involuntarily I repeat Cartman's, "BEEFCAKE! BEEFCAKE!... weight gain 4000. SWEET!"

Ha ha.

I thought I'd give some shout outs to the folks making my fabulous transformation possible. My good friend Chuck and his lady friend of the infomercial world Christie. Also I cannot forget Eric Cartman, whose beefcake episode keeps me motivated for hours.

So the machine that is currently taking up real estate in my living room is none other than the Total Gym 1700. If you are totally in love with Chuck Norris then go to the Chuck Norris Official Website . And if you buy the Total Gym right now, you'll get a free Chuck Norris poster to hang on your ceiling over your bed so that as you drift off to neverland the last image running through your mind is Chuck's smiling face.

Enough about that scary mental picture. So now here's a photo of the wondrous contraption. And I think they didn't want folks stealing their image so they put 4 pieces of a single photo on the site. Retarded, so I'm being totally tacky and putting it on my blog like that.
So Isn't this an awesome picture :)~ Who knew just a few short months ago that Chuck and Christie would be such a huge part of my life. They entered my life at Christmas 2006.
And both have continued to be a major source of inspiration. I mean, who wouldn't be completely convinced to buy their machine and workout obsessively to get hot bods just like theres, right? Actually, I think the photo has been doctored since their heads don't really seem to fit the frames of the bodies. But I tend to question everything I find online. Featured in the 4 X 4 photo is actually a model one above mine. But I just couldn't resist putting the ever so lovely photo on here.

I kid about the photos, but the machine actually is pretty cool. This blog isn't endorsed by Chuck or Christie in any way. I just got a little bored at work and thought I'd write down some crazy thoughts running around my head. Well yesterday I decided to kick it up a notch in my endeavor to work out. It's really convenient to not have to wait for folks to get off a machine at a gym and forget to wipe it dry from their grotesque sweat. Instead, I just wear whatever the heck I want, flip on the boob tube, and workout until I can hardly walk to bed. Well, maybe not that extreme, I might be exaggerating just a tad. I might have to measure my biceps (I know...you're thinking size queen) so that I can continue to have motivation. Well maybe, I guess if the next week my bicep was smaller I'd give up altogether. Maybe measuring isn't such a good idea after all.

Houston PRIDE 2007 and still skinny

There you have it. I did it. My butt...in plain view at Houston's PRIDE parade 2007. Ha ha... the torturous workouts paid off. I was able to get my butt back up where it belongs. And the best compliment I received all evening goes to Eddy, "If that butt was on a man...I'd be all over that!"

Well it was a lot of fun to gear up for PRIDE and the attend the parade. Before the parade we stopped by our friends' house, Amy & Corky. I was sipping on my favorite cocktail the watermelon martini when I realized it was time to head out to meet two other friends of ours, Kim & Anita. I rushed to the kitchen, started to dump out the ice in my cup, when I realized my dairy-aire was a little bit wetter than it should be. At that moment, I realized I had a viszla's wet nose buried in my crack. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ha ha! I bolted out of the kitchen only to be thought of as a new cool toy. The viszla pursued and now it was a new game.

We headed down to Katz's to have dinner and then on to the parade. These folks came out to hang out and, in the words of my favorite straight PRIDE parade go-er, "Git us some f*n beads". Aww...I miss my straights. So the parade seemed to be in some really strange order: politicians (boring), [long pause] religions/churches (weird), [long pause] and by this time the parade was losing my interest. Thank goodness for the Gaysians. I love the Gaysians, and yes, I probably am making a totally politically incorrect statement, but I love 'em just the same. Hopefully this pic turns out okay. They are in take-out boxes. Seriously! Who comes up with this schtuff? I think it's great.

Well, I had a blast, loved hanging with the peeps and running in to peeps of the past. I'm planning on keeping up with the butt busting to stay in incredible shape. We'll see in a month if I'm still in shape :) I know I'll still be skinny, but being in shape is still different. But I think I can fake being in shape easier/quicker starting from skinny. Oh well, gotta love the skinny!

Being Skinny

Well, it's pride month and I'm on a mission to get in shape... ah ah ah, see being skinny and being in shape are two different things. Stop rolling your eyes at me! This year I want to wear the denim chaps I acquired at Republic of Texas Rally (R.O.T.), however, this requires my butt being located where it belongs. You know the movie Sweetest Thing when the girls are in the dressing room and they are comparing the boobs of a 20 year old versus those of a 30 year old...well, it happens to the butt too. Ugh! So, if I'm gonna bare all in 9 days, this chica needs to bust some butt, literally!

So I mentioned ROT. This is a pic of us girls at ROT. We had a blast. Slightly after this photo was taken we headed to dinner cause it was crazy hot and then the chick in red, the chick in orange, and I snuck in to the Austin Pride Parade. And I seriously mean snuck. There's proof of this illegal entry into the parade, however there is no proof that we were driving on sidewalks, making illegal u-turns, and driving the wrong way in traffic...or no proof that I've found so far. Ha ha!

So the chick in the above pic that was wearing the dark red shirt is now on the bike in the back left wearing a yellow shirt with yellow baseball cap (I know, shocking!!!) and her girlfriend that was wearing an orange shirt lost her shirt somewhere in the illegal turns...

Now you wish you too were there don't you. Ha ha! So I'm in the back middle of the photo. Thank goodness I'm blocked by my windscreen, otherwise I'd feel the need to scream at the top of my lungs, "Mom...dad...I'm gay, on a motorcycle, and in the Austin Pride Parade. Love ya!" ROTFLMAO. Oh, yeah, failed to mention, I did make it on a youTube video of the parade. If you look-up prideAustin on myspace, they have a link to the video. EEK! So anyway, back to the pic of the 3 of us on our bikes, I believe we were sitting there motionless because 2 girls ahead of us dropped their bikes...domino style. I had the audacity to yell in the mike meyers voice as his father in So I Married an Axe Murderer, "There's a biker down. We have a biker down." Fortunately, (for me) the crowd was too loud to hear me as I'm sure someone would have kicked my boney ass. It was funny, I swear and no bikers were injured in the making of the domino train. Well, maybe only their pride was injured. OMG...I'm killing myself with these. I gotta stop.

Well, the motorcycle folks didn't know we were joining them, and we snuck out before the parade ended. Hee hee...we were the phantom parade crashers.

So back to the denim chaps. Hopefully my butt will be lifted back up where it belongs and I'll have some fun at Houston's Pride parade. I'm not in it, but I'll be remembered :) Oh, did I mention they are ass-less.