Everyone, EVERYONE, Let's focus on ME right now

Well, I'm happy to report that excel a-hole has retired. I should have followed up with that a long time ago, I just got behind. So there was a great celebration Jan 10th (day after his retirement). I went out for drinks in his honor.

So it seems that you can really never get away from at least 1 coworker that is like nails on a chalkboard annoying. My cross to bear (listen to me...LOL) is someone that I refer to as Jar Jar Binks, though I really should be discussing as well Lady Slinky, and Toe Jam. I'm surrounded by, what I refer to as, the Geriatric Ward Level 13 Southeast Corner. Jar Jar Binks, though a boy on Star Wars, is in my case a woman. In my opinion, Jar Jar Binks on Star Wars is the comic relief, rather clumsy and rarely useful character; as is my coworker. Though the comic relief is actually comic disbelief, as you must really stretch to find humor with anything she has to say. Then there is Lady Slinky, she earned her badge of honor after I was sent a little cartoon about people that are like slinkies, pretty much worthless but put a smile on your face as you watch them tumble down a flight of stairs. And then finally, Toe Jam, an appropriate name I just invented for the "VOICE OVER THE WALL". I should actually refer to her as the Wizard, as in the Wizard of Oz, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." She has no concept of inside voice or library voice. She has no concept of personal space, and no concept of appropriate work topics. I really don't want to hear about finding a good gynecologist that must really enjoy his job so much so that she's willing to travel 2 hours to visit him. So her name is derived from well Toe Jam, what is your initial reaction when you hear that combination or words? Exactly. "EEEEEW GROSS." That's pretty much my reaction every time I hear Toe Jam talking, especially to Jar Jar or Slinky. I will also point out that Toe had to inform everyone of her need to wear this HUGE boot for her foot surgery. As if people couldn't see it on their own. She had exaggerate her every movement to emphasize the boot's existence.

Now back to Jar Jar. Jar Jar is yet another "VOICE OVER THE WALL" for me. She is really today's inspiration for this post. There's always got to be one in every crowd. The person that is socially retarded to some extreme and needs to redirect every topic of conversation back to a focus on them. Then usually they proceed to dominate the conversation with stuff like, "Oh yeah, well you think that's bad, listen to this..." Yes, the perpetual 1-upper strikes again in my life. I sit around a series of 1-uppers. When they get into a 1-up fest, it's no holds barred hand-to-hand combat of who will be victorious in being crowd the days supreme 1-upper.

Today's phrase - hence the reason I have resorted back to my headphones music blaring stance - "well you know, my mommy lost all motor control this weekend. And you know it's hard for me to navigate around with this walker..." *pop* inserts earphones.

I just really don't want to hear it. You know?

More to come on Slinky, *in the weakest most annoying mousy voice* "I have to have an ergo chair because as you know my back is really bad, and ..."

Toe Jam, "I told you not to drink the water, see massive diarrhea is not fun."

HA, HA, HA I have novels of inappropriate quotes to post on the Trio. Stay tuned.

Oh, I failed to mention that Jar Jar appears to have a number of personalities. And yes, they do talk to each other. Often they respond to conversations in which they are not a part - Jar Jar's personalities that is. More to come on that as well.