Women Should Be Pissed Off

If you think about it...

Slavery was outlawed with the ratifying of the 13th Amendment in 1865. Only 5 short years later, the 15th amendment secured the right to vote to not be based on color. Though, gender biases still kept women from having the right to vote. The 15th amendment that was ratified on February 3, 1870 provided a means for those that had been in slavery to be able to vote, 143 years ago. Now step forward 50 years to August 18, 1920 when women finally gained the right to vote in the 19th Amendment, 88 years ago.

Something seems a little outta whack!

I'm not a feminist. I'm not right winged, nor left winged. But I am tired of hearing how there are classes of people that have been so oppressed for so long. I'm tired of women being termed "domineering" when all they really want is equal rights like the rest of the American citizens. Women don't have the time to be out whining and complaining about oppression. We have way to much taking up our time, like working twice as hard as the men in corporate America for 2/3 to 1/2 the pay, bearing the children, raising the children, . . . And the list goes on. And yet, there were even Republicans that were so narrow minded that they didn't support their own vice presidential candidate because she was a woman. Really now? Are you still lost in the years pre-1920?

... it's time we see a woman president. Republican, Democratic, Independent I don't believe I care which, just need to see a woman in office to make sure everyone is truly equal.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? (And you might want to get out of the way!)
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!?
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was all we needed to know.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, but went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Social Retardism

Just when I thought I had left the location with the most amount of social retards... I'm reminded that it's not necessarily the number of social retards at your location, it's the severity of the social retardism as well.

There's a lady here at work that goes to such drastic measures to keep from having to communicate. I walked into the kitchen area here, and she was waiting at the microwave facing toward me. I was in the kitchen for just a few minutes, however, she managed to turn completely around, put her back to me, and stare at a wall instead of having to potentially say "good morning". Yes, just a simple good morning and she couldn't do it.

I like to call this Social Retardism. And she seems to have a severe case of it.

I sure hope I don't suffer from Social Retardism. I'll say "hi" and "hello" with the best of them, I don't care if it's the Pres, VP, the janitor, or the security guard. I want folks to remember me. I want folks to show me the same kind of respect that I show them. At the end of my career here, folks will only have one thing to say about me, and that's that I was kind and friendly to everyone equally.

I will have to do a little more reconnaissance work regarding this thing I call social retardism. I hope that my findings in this study will help some of those that suffer from it, figure out a way to get past it. I plan to develop my theory of what all encompasses this thing I call Social Retardism in the next few weeks or months.

One thing I can quickly spout out as another example of what can be considered social retardism, is the person in the crowd at the table that no matter what the conversation is at hand, they will continually throw in things that are completely random and unrelated. Generally these things point back to them directly. I guess 1-upping can be considered a level of social retardism. The person that is 1-upping cannot determine for themselves that it is inappropriate to tell a 1-up story at that point in time.

A definition I like from Urban Dictionary for retard is "An offensive term used to refer to someone acting in an irritating or generally stupid way." I see a social retard as someone that 's irritating and generally acts in stupid ways. Social retardism is spawned from there being a social norm and then there are these folks that cannot function within that socially acceptable norm.

I don't want everyone to fit in a perfect mold, of course not. Then life would be boring. I would like for folks to consider that they have a case of social retardism and change their path in life by learning to communicate.

Okay, stepping off the soapbox for a bit to go back to work.

Don't Waste the Day...Put on Some Pants

Over Christmas I got to spend some time with my brother. I always love his perspective on life. This past get together, he imparted wisdom to Jess and me that we will forever live by. He spoke of those lazy days, whether they are induced by too much drinking the night before, too little sleep, or just not feeling so hot in general. He said, "never let a day pass that you don't put on pants, otherwise it will be seen as a wasted day."

I have to agree with him on this one. Last Friday, I was a bit under the weather. I lounged around most of the day doing a few chores here and there, but remaining in my PJs until 3 p.m. At which time, I decided I could not let the day become completely wasted. So I took a shower, donned some jeans, and felt I had accomplished much more than expected for a lazy day. It's amazing what putting some pants on does to boost one's moral.