Seeing the World from a Different View

I played volleyball this evening for the first time in almost 4 1/2 years. My knee did better than I expected. There was some fluid present afterward so I decided I would hang out on the inversion machine for a bit. I hang on the inverter about 3 times a week on average. It's odd, when I'm upside down I feel like I cannot hear or breath through my nose. Maybe I'll make it to a point where I will be able to do both.

More of My Running Gear

Running requires a cap to keep my unruly hair out of my face. I run with a simple black cap that's really thin and light. While I'm running down the trail, I'm using my ancient ol' iBead. I do really love the simplicity of this gadget. I hide the iBead in my sports bra.
I use these little JVC gems, though mine are solid black. They are in ear canal headphones and they work great! I'm glad I splurged a bit on them.





All these little things help make my runs more enjoyable. Oh, I almost forgot these faves of mine...
I love these. They keep all the wind out of my eyes.

Continued Mission to get in Shape

I started my first blog talking about a desire to get in shape, and how I was going about doing that. I have progressed forward (with a few stumbling blocks along the way), but I finally started running again. Whew Hew! The knee seems to be holding out for me. I did find my wickedly ginormous brace that I'm supposed to wear if I'm doing anything. But, I've been stubborn and haven't wanted to wear it. So I stopped by Academy and was recommended a Patella Band. Surprisingly, it's working out well. I'm able to run my 2.6 miles non-stop now and my knee doesn't become fatigued.

I am very inspired to continue running. I had run for many many years before blowing out my knee. So yesterday I bought some crazy ugly running shoes, but they are incredibly comfortable.(ASICS: GEL-Nimbus® 10) I bought some support socks. And of course I had to splurge just a little and I picked up a cute necklace from Tarma: Earth Friendly Jewelry (Recycled Ingredients).

It's a running girl. Who could resist this? It's not often that you find something girl specific like this. So now every time I look in the mirror, I will be reminded of my great progress forward.

I was glad the shoes didn't end up being Nike that were picked out for me. My hat that I run in is Nike, my shorts are Nike, my knee band is Nike, my socks are Nike. It might seem that I'm a Nike addict, but it's just random that Nike is the brand for all of those. I'd happily wear any brand that works well.

Chair of Torture

Those that have tried mine, will definitely agree, this is truly the chair of torture. Mine looks very similar to this model. The few differences are: padding is slanted, padded foot bar is in a straight line, not an 'L'. If you look at the illustration, you'll see the Roman Chair's of the past and how they were built. That particular form of chair still is in use, however it is not as functional as the one I purchased and here's why.

My new-to-me chair allows me to also do hyper extensions of the lower back, this way I can build the core muscles surrounding my spine and kidneys. These are sheer torture. For the abdominal exercise, I'm able to do about 30 before I am screaming in pain. I like to do a set of 10 normal style, then I like to do a set each of 10 twisting to the right then left as I come up to really make my obliques scream. For the back hyper extension, I think I can do about 3 before I cry "UNCLE". My lower back is so weak now. Hmm... that's a little embarrassing. What's really neat about the Roman Chair is that even though you are strongly targeting the abs or the lower back, you really get a good quad, hamstring, and buttocks workout as well since you must hold yourself on the chair. Another great thing about this chair is, unlike when you try crunches on the ground, you have nothing grinding against your spine, like the floor, so you aren't limited to the amount of bone pain you can handle. With this chair, your body is basically suspended (thanks to your legs) so you can perform the exercise with no interference. A modification I've tried to do while working on my lower back is to squeeze my butt cheeks together as I lower and raise, this way I'm really straining those muscles and helping put my butt back where it should be.

Six Pack

Oh, I so wish I was rambling on about a 6-pack of beer or something tasty like that. However, I'm not. I'm writing about the ever so delicious abdominal muscles that when sculpted to perfection, can bring a weak person (such as myself) to their knees in worship. HA! You were thinking something else.

I wish I already had the six pack abs, but I don't so I'm writing this to continue to motivate myself.

I totally stole the following from HERE. It is a good tidbit of info, though I apologize for the chick in the picture as it appears she hasn't shaved her pits in days, maybe even weeks. ICK!

[The BICYCLE EXERCISE is the best move to target the rectus abdominis (i.e., the 'six pack') and the obliques (the waist), according to a study done by the American Council on Exercise.

To do this exercise correctly:

1. Lie face up on the floor and lace your fingers behind your head.
2. Bring the knees in towards the chest and lift the shoulder blades off the ground without pulling on the neck.
3. Straight the left leg out to about a 45-degree angle while simultaneously turning the upper body to the right, bringing the left elbow towards the right knee.
4. Switch sides, bringing the right elbow towards the left knee.
5. Continue alternating sides in a 'pedaling' motion for 12-16 reps.]

Okay, if you do that many reps, good luck getting up off the floor. This exercise HURTS! But I like it now ;)

Another chunk of stuff stolen from HERE

[The EXERCISE BALL AB CRUNCH is an excellent tool to strengthen the abs and comes out number three for working the rectus abdominis.

To do it right:

1. Lie face-up with the ball resting under your mid/lower back.
2. Cross your arms over the chest or place them behind your head.
3. Contract your abs to lift your torso off the ball, pulling the bottom of your ribcage down toward your hips.
4. As you curl up, keep the ball stable (i.e., you shouldn't roll).
5. Lower back down, getting a stretch in the abs, and repeat for 12-16 reps.]

I'm a complete loser because I will fall off the ball if I do not anchor myself to something. So I cheat on this exercise and hook my legs under the futon. Originally I would use the bed and hook my feet under it. But I don't work out in the bedroom any more.

Then there's the move of death...the vertical crunch. I was able to do about 2 of these. Yes, I said 2. And I bitched and moaned for both of them. Good luck! I stole more information from HERE.

[The VERTICAL LEG CRUNCH is another effective move for the rectus abdominis and the obliques.

To do it right:
1. Lie face up on the floor and extend the legs straight up with knees crossed.
2. Contract the abs to lift the shoulder blades off the floor, as though reaching your chest towards your feet.
3. Keep the legs in a fixed position and imagine bringing your belly button towards your spine at the top of the movement.
4. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.]

And I think I'd rather slit my wrists than attempt the next exercise, except that I've already done it, so I'm just ranting for no reason. This exercise I did slightly modified, the Long Arm Crunch, using the Ab Trainer. Umm...ugh...ouch... ugh! It was a tough one too.

So I stole the info from HERE.

[This move, the LONG ARM CRUNCH, ranked 6th in the ACE study, emphasizes the upper part of the abs.

To do it right:

1. Lie on a mat and extend the arms straight out behind the head with hands clasped, keeping the arms next to the ears.
2. Contract the abs and lift the shoulder blades off the floor.
3. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.]

And no, I'm not posting a pic of my abs yet. But soon I will have enough improvement where I'll want to post a pic. Then I can do the before and after. If I only post the before and not the after, I will not motivate myself...or others for that matter. And thank goodness it appears the chick shaved her pits in between this exercise and the bicycle exercise.

Then there is the reverse crunch and I stole info on it from HERE.

[It may seem like the REVERSE CRUNCH is for the lower abs but, remember, the rectus abdominis is one long muscle, so you can't separate upper from lower.

To do this move right:

1. Lie on the floor and place hands on the floor or behind the head.
2. Bring the knees in towards the chest until they're bent to 90 degrees, with feet together or crossed.
3. Contract the abs to curl the hips off the floor, reaching the legs up towards the ceiling.
4. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.
5. It's a very small movement, so try to use your abs to lift your hips rather than swinging your legs and creating momentum.]

And for this next exercise, I don't even want to try it. The thought of it is hurting me. I still haven't recovered from the torture I did 2 days ago performing the bicycle exercise. So here is yet even more info I stole from HERE.

[In a FULL VERTICAL CRUNCH, you really work the abs by involving both the upper and lower body.

To do it right:
1. Lie on your back and extend the legs up towards the ceiling.
2. Place hands behind your head (lightly cupping it) and contract the abs to lift the shoulder blades off the floor.
3. At the same time, press the heels towards the ceiling, creating a 'u' shape with the torso.
4. Lower down and repeat for 12-16 reps.]Yeah, now you agree with me. It looks painful doesn't it?

Oh, ouch, I didn't think anything could look more painful...and then I saw this next move. Oh, who comes up with these? Kick them in the shin, seriously!!!

So I stole the following information from HERE.

[The PLANK EXERCISE is ranked number 10 in the ACE study and is a great way to build endurance in both the abs and back, as well as stabilizer muscles.

To do it right:
1. Lie face down on mat resting on the forearms, palms flat on the floor.
2. Push off the floor, raising up onto toes and resting on the elbows.
3. Keep your back flat, in a straight line from head to heels.
4. Tilt your pelvis and contract your abdominals to prevent your rear end from sticking up in the air.
5. Hold for 20 to 60 seconds, lower and repeat for 3-5 reps.]

I will have to attempt some of these this evening, that would be the Plank Exercise and the Full Vertical Crunch. If I do not write anything in later days, you will know that they are truly KILLER exercises.

Weight gain 4000 revisited

"4,000 grams of saturated fat per serving"..."May Cause Irreversible damage to the Kidneys and Liver"



On Saturday, Alex and I visited an apothecary of sorts where you can get all kinds of good stuff like "Weight Gain 4000". Oddly enough, we were there to pick up something similar. Alex is using this stuff properly, unlike Mr. Cartman, and is looking rather fantastic if I do say so myself. As we were standing in this store for what felt like hours, which was really only about 1.5 minutes, I tried my hardest not to repeat "Beefcake! BEEFcake! BEEFCAKE!" but every second we were in there, was like an hour and I couldn't do it. I stared at the floor, the door, THE ESCAPE, oh, I mean exit, the walls, I tried to distract myself. But no, the laughter was welling up in me like the nausea in the boys of Southpark when they smoked the Mara-ju-wana as Counselor Makey calls it.

And finally, my moment of relief, when I just couldn't handle the silence another second...the store operator smiles at me and says, "Hey, I know you!" I was instantly distracted and didn't get escorted from the premises. Whew!

But now, I secretly repeat it..."Beefcake, BEEFcake, BEEFCAKE!"

Ab obsession

Well, Chuck stopped by to encourage me to keep up the hard work. He mentioned I might have a torture device fetish and that I also might need to seek professional help, but all in all, he said things are pretty good.

So I have another confession. I haven't shown all of my exercise equipment yet. I do still have yet another torture device to reveal. I have to say, I haven't mastered it AT ALL though. I guess that might make one assume that I had mastered the other torture devices. Well, that just ain't true. Ha! I use the wheel of torture often, and I do mean often, however, I have yet to "fully extend" with it. Well, I take that back, I did one time. ONE...TIME. I extended, but there was no pulling back on that baby as I was full plant on the ground lying on my belly.

So here it is, the Ab Trainer as I have recently come to learn it's pseudo official name.

The version I have is a little different but not enough to make an impact. It seems like as you use this device, it isn't doing anything for you. The first time I used it I was up in the 40's with my count of crunches thinking nothing was happening. And then...I tried to stand up. O...M...G... I was horribly mistaken. My abs just hadn't been able to SCREAM at me yet as they were just shredded.

This is a rather interesting piece of equipment. Until a few minutes ago, I didn't realize the variations on exercises you can do with it. I am a little excited now to try some of them when I get home. We'll see if it's truly excitement or a relapse from the RedBull I drank during lunch.

So for those of you that may not know, Starbucks Double Shot has more caffeine in it than RedBull per ounce. Don't believe me...check for yourself. StarbucksDoubleShot versus Red Bull. But I digress again.

Stability Ball

Oh, I so wish I was talking about a formal ball that you attend once you reach a certain level of stability in your life. Alas, none of us would actually ever be in attendance I am afraid. Anyway, on to my actual topic, and I'm stalling because soon, someone is going to accuse me of being an exercise freak. I only wish that were true, cause if it was, I'd be in fantastic shape. Well, here it is, the Stability ball is another exercise item I have in my repertoire.
This is actually a very versatile piece of equipment and relatively easy to maintain. It's also a great ball to bounce and chase the dog around the house with invoking almost involuntary shrills from him. But I digress. I have found that you can work out just about every muscle using this ball in some fashion. One of my favorite exercises on this is the seated abdominal crunch. It looks easy...but oh does it ever sneak up on you.

The ball I have is actually white, well, used to be white, it's now a lovely shade of blah from exposure to the fantastic non-natural lighting in the house. I actually own two of these. No particular reason as I cannot imagine a single rendition of an exercise that would require two balls. (I'm sorry, I have to stop typing for a moment while I regain my breath... as I just completely cracked myself up...).

If you haven't ever tried using one of these great devices, do so now. They are worth the $20 that they cost.

The AbWheel... major torture device

This has to be the most torturous invention out there. The creator of this device is a truly sick and twisted person. In the words of my good friend Mo'Niqu, "but I like it now!" Actually, I have to say, this has been the stand alone device that has chiseled my abs. I didn't believe it could happen and happen so quickly...well, seeing results that is.

I was really shocked when I was searching online for a pic of this contraption and found the following blatant copyright infringement ever... you judge for yourself...


Can you see the horrible job they did at morphing my abs onto this poor soul's body? Seriously, what were they thinking?

Ha ha, I'm apparently totally delusional. I am working toward having my first layer of the 6 pack. What's really cool is that even after the first evening of using this rather torturous device, I noticed the layer of abs that's so hard for ladies to affect, was actually a little flatter and for that matter, really sore. I guess I should mention which part of the abs I think that is. I think the lower abs are way too hard to affect. But the wheel is going to change that for me.

I did stumble upon that picture today, and I'm including the website as well because it seemed like a really good exercise routine to get that sexy 6 pack of abs. Well, I might decide to take photos of my progress to encourage others. See, I hate that most advertisements have only the "after" photo. Never really the before photos or the progression marked with "real" dates. It's easy to sell a product when you look HOTTT! But you could clear out your inventory if you were straight forward and showed the progression. Anyway, I harp... I'll stop.

So my disclaimer is that I'm not going to take Cartman's "weight gain 4000" to help me bulk up. I don't need nor do I want hair on my chest either. So I'm just going to attempt eating well and following the regimen here: 6packABs.

Total Gym 1700

Involuntarily I repeat Cartman's, "BEEFCAKE! BEEFCAKE!... weight gain 4000. SWEET!"

Ha ha.

I thought I'd give some shout outs to the folks making my fabulous transformation possible. My good friend Chuck and his lady friend of the infomercial world Christie. Also I cannot forget Eric Cartman, whose beefcake episode keeps me motivated for hours.

So the machine that is currently taking up real estate in my living room is none other than the Total Gym 1700. If you are totally in love with Chuck Norris then go to the Chuck Norris Official Website . And if you buy the Total Gym right now, you'll get a free Chuck Norris poster to hang on your ceiling over your bed so that as you drift off to neverland the last image running through your mind is Chuck's smiling face.

Enough about that scary mental picture. So now here's a photo of the wondrous contraption. And I think they didn't want folks stealing their image so they put 4 pieces of a single photo on the site. Retarded, so I'm being totally tacky and putting it on my blog like that.
So Isn't this an awesome picture :)~ Who knew just a few short months ago that Chuck and Christie would be such a huge part of my life. They entered my life at Christmas 2006.
And both have continued to be a major source of inspiration. I mean, who wouldn't be completely convinced to buy their machine and workout obsessively to get hot bods just like theres, right? Actually, I think the photo has been doctored since their heads don't really seem to fit the frames of the bodies. But I tend to question everything I find online. Featured in the 4 X 4 photo is actually a model one above mine. But I just couldn't resist putting the ever so lovely photo on here.

I kid about the photos, but the machine actually is pretty cool. This blog isn't endorsed by Chuck or Christie in any way. I just got a little bored at work and thought I'd write down some crazy thoughts running around my head. Well yesterday I decided to kick it up a notch in my endeavor to work out. It's really convenient to not have to wait for folks to get off a machine at a gym and forget to wipe it dry from their grotesque sweat. Instead, I just wear whatever the heck I want, flip on the boob tube, and workout until I can hardly walk to bed. Well, maybe not that extreme, I might be exaggerating just a tad. I might have to measure my biceps (I know...you're thinking size queen) so that I can continue to have motivation. Well maybe, I guess if the next week my bicep was smaller I'd give up altogether. Maybe measuring isn't such a good idea after all.